This will be the deepest, most heartfelt blog I’ve written. You want blood, sweat, tears, a scene from cops, Jerry Springer, Reno 911, and 300???!! Then you’ve come to the right place.

I’m coming back to add to my last blog. Mentioning my sisters wasn’t enough. I want to tell you about them….

My first story about them is one of the recent ones. The most memorable for me. I can’t remember a lot of it. What I do remember is that I sent the kids to Tyler’s. It was Christmas and they got to open with me then go with him. I worked all evening putting a dollhouse together. This dollhouse was a replacement from the fire. I drank 2 bottles of gin that night.

I don’t know what happened next but I’m waking up and seeing Libby crying and yelling at the end of my bed. Brandi walking in the room with the bottles of Gin when I just had lied saying I wasn’t drinking. Mom may have been there but I just remembered Libby I’m my face mad as hell. Begging me to snap to, asking me why am I doing this to myself. I don’t know what happened after that.

Let’s skip back 20 years ago. You’re 16 years old, you wake up to your parents fighting but that’s nothing new, you’ve heard it your whole life. This time is different, moms hiding his pills but why? I don’t understand. In the next few weeks I’ll get it. He’s been falling asleep in his plate. His color is different. He’s lethargic but you don’t understand right now. The day life flight landed and someone giving him cpr or whatever happened. I’ve blocked it out. They haven’t. I only know from the stories I’ve heard. Most of my childhood besides a few memories is gone.

During the illegal pill mill days, my dad got addicted. When I found out it was too late to hide from my sisters. Surprisingly they knew before I did. Brandi knew when she was in the hospital with a tumor that eats away bone. Anyways of course Brandi would have a rare bone disease but who would have guessed her dad would steal her pain pills too? Not her. Our dad would steal from her while in the hospital. Not just one thing, she fell for it a few times. Brandi is the least forgiving out of us.

Oh Libby! She’s the sweetest asshole I’ve ever met. I really mean that about my sister. She’s got this bad ass persona but Libby is actually a sensitive person with a protective front. She can talk about me but you better not. When we were little they always joked about Libby being daddy’s little boy. I remembered in my “normal” daddy days, Libby was right at his heels.

Dad had picked up her up early I think. I can’t remember the specifics but that day my dad ran into something on the passenger side. Libby was sitting there and the glass shot all into her face and neck. She still has some scars.

There’s a blog I have somewhere on here and it mentions how I only got 2 presents for Christmas that year. It was also because me and mom made a pact. I was old enough to know Santa wasn’t real but they still believed. I understood and made sure they had a great Christmas.

When my parents would fight I tried to be the one in the middle. I remember Brandi crying. She was the one that was always the most scared. (I’m bawling right now). I wanted to whip her ass then. But from an annoyed big sister perspective. Like Brandi shut up because mom will come in this house and whip my ass.

I did catch the most shit growing up. And that’s something I will forever keep private. Mom and I grew up together. I understand her. I get my daddy I know why he went down the road he did. All this background history is for you to understand my sisters.

Every time I post a blog I don’t think they sleep for the next few weeks. Libby’s blood pressure gets high cause she throws hands. Brandi drinks a few bottles of wine and smokes a pack of cigarettes even though she quit 12 years ago.

They worry about me. They don’t want people to make fun of me or talk about me. Mostly because they’ll kill them. You think the gin was my only intervention. Not even close. Hunters put me in a chokehold. Cruzz has set me straight too. It’s not just my sisters. They love me too.

To be continued…