I’m 13 years old. No telling what time it is but I know it’s late. Mom wakes me up and says she needs help. There’s make up on her face and something in her voice isn’t good. Lo and behold her and dad are fighting. He’s thrown her purse on the roof of the house. I climb up to get it. As I’m up there moms coming out with a shot gun and dads spinning his tires trying to get out of there as fast as he can.

That was the norm in my house. It wasn’t always like that. I remember my parents loving each other but they were just two young kids who ran away from a bad situation.

I was literally molded into the person I am today. I would not change a thing about me. Not a thing I’ve gone through because it’s shaped me into the person I am this very second. Life’s not been easy for me but who has it been easy for? We each have our own troubles, battles, and way about life. It is was you make it, famous words of Joe Dirt.

I just watched a memory of myself from last year this time. I’m crying. Imagine that. Heartbroken pouring all I have out into a video blog. Stupid girl. I had no idea that what God was taken away, he’d give me something I could have never imagined, PEACE.

Oh how I’ve prayed for you. Peace that is. You see, although my life is far from perfect, I am the type that puts things in perspective. I tell myself, stop, breathe, just think about this. In 6 months from now everything will be different. I pray and I stand on the fact that I’m still here today because of a God who loves me so dearly.

I’m currently not allowed to write about certain things in my life. For now but boy when the day comes I hope y’all are ready for the flood gates to open. I want to share my story. I want to help others.

Right now my focus is helping myself. Going to treatment I really discovered how to put myself first. That was HARD because I’m a mom first and foremost. Guess what though…Momma wasn’t getting out of bed. Showering, eating or over eating. Even something as minute as brushing my teeth became a chore to me.

Everyday I am a work in progress and I’m so grateful for the perspective I have today. It’s positive and for someone that suffers with manic depressive disorder, POSITIVITY is a necessity!