In 3 hours from now I’m supposed to be in a flight to Cozumel. A week long trip with an amazing guy, he’s pretty much Prince Charming riding in on a white horse. I’m not going. I haven’t even told him. I blocked his number and I unblocked because I feel terrible. I texted my sister and my friend Myranda to see if they’d just text him and say I died. Then I thought “oh hell, he would ask about arrangements and try to come to my funeral.” My sister told me No but my friend said she do it. She didn’t though. He still doesn’t know.

There are so many reasons I don’t want to go. The biggest being 2 hurricanes currently in the Gulf of Mexico and my 3 babies that need their momma nearby. The last time they experienced a hurricane, we woke up in the middle of the night to water in our home. They’re still traumatized about that night. I am too. Another reason, I’ve experienced a lot of loss lately. I can’t pretend it’s al okay right now, it’s just not.

Then there’s HIM! Y’all know who “HIM” is. Y’all probably tired of reading about him and I’m tired of writing about him. Let’s stop calling HIM that and give him a name. I like “The Sheriff”. I bet some of you even know him as that. Pretty proud of that title, isn’t he.

Anyways, back to the sheriff, (oh Prince Charming, real fast, did I mention that he’s a DOCTOR. 🤦🏻‍♀️) So here we are once again. Same boat I’ve been dumping water out of for too long. I stood on that thing until it went completely under water trying to save it with everything I had. After this week with my grandpa passing his arms were the only place I wanted to be and I was.

We always agree this is it, really this time. If I run away to Mexico, I’m just putting a bandaid on a broken heart. I don’t believe in that. I think it’s best to break cycles and breaking them is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Looking like a fool is worse. This boy has had me looking like a fool for a year. I’ve already messaged yet ANOTHER girl. Told her I think we are seeing the same guy…she said oh yeah? Describe his room then. Hahaha girl hold on, I’ll send you a picture. I’m sure he pulled the crazy card on me. That’s always his go to. I wouldn’t be crazy if your actions matched your words. Poor girl doesn’t even know what’s she’s in for but knowing he was with me the night before he took her out, I know what she’s in for and I’m out.

Waking up this morning, I was happy. I made the right decision. Right now I’m more excited about loading my packed Mexico bags and heading to North Texas with my family. At my grandpas service the other day the preacher who knows my entire family well, told stories and described us to a T. We love, we fight, we forgive, we give our all, and boy do we laugh. I can’t wait to caravan following my sisters. All of our cars are identical too. I know we will race at red lights, stop way too many times, swap kids from different vehicles and make the best memories! I hope everyone stays safe!